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Thread: Southern Medical Terms

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Southern Califonia
    Posts
    1,034

    Southern Medical Terms

    Southern Medical Terms

    Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight.
    Artery......................... The study of paintings.
    Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
    Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die.
    Caesarean Section............... A neighbourhood in Rome.
    Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty.
    Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
    Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
    Coma........................... A punctuation mark.
    D&C............................ Where Washington is.
    Dilate......................... To live long.
    Enema.......................... Not a friend.
    Fester......................... Quicker than someone else.
    Fibula......................... A small lie.
    G.I. Series.................... World Series of military baseball.
    Hangnail....................... What you hang your coat on.
    Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known.
    Labor Pain..................... Getting hurt at work.
    Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane.
    Morbid......................... A higher offer.
    Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.
    Node........................... I knew it.
    Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
    Pap Smear...................... A fatherhood test.
    Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.
    Post Operative................. A letter carrier.
    Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery.
    Rectum......................... Pretty near killed him.
    Secretion...................... Hiding something.
    Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
    Tablet......................... A small table.
    Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport.
    Tumour.......................... One plus one more.
    Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out.
    Varicose....................... Near by/close by
    "No TV and no beer make Homer...something...something."
    "Go crazy?"
    "Don't Mind If I Do!"

  2. #2
    pretty funny i like that.............pretty good.................woot woot

  3. #3
    "Caesarean Section............... A neighbourhood in Rome" ::

  4. damn hicks ::
    ///Andres
    95 M3 - Custom Turbo Fully Built -- 750+whp -- Previous Setup : 350whp & 334.5 ft/lb SAE
    87 190E-16v - Car Cover Queen
    88 190E 8v - over 200k!

  5. #5

    About the turth

    Damn thats funny!!!!!! About the turth, not in terms of doctors. but I bet if you gave that test to one of these idiot college girls around here there answers would probally be similar. Well they all know what a C-section is, here the women usually have had 2 by the time there 21 and no baby daddy.

    GOD I HATE IT HERE

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Southern Califonia
    Posts
    1,034
    This is also pretty funny

    ------------------------------------

    The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some recent winning entries:

    1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you

    13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

    14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

    The Post also invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some of those winners:

    1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    3. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid (e.g.: "I'm a doctor...")

    4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    7. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

    8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)

    9. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

    10. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    11. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

    12. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole
    "No TV and no beer make Homer...something...something."
    "Go crazy?"
    "Don't Mind If I Do!"

  7. #7

    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Minnesota/Wisconsin
    Posts
    2,942
    pretty funny!
    https://www.190revolution.net/prem/sk.../new%20sig.jpg
    Andrew
    "No one ever poses with their toaster. MB, Unlike Any Other"
    1986 190e 2.3 8V
    1994 w124 E320 (M104)
    Buy My Mercedes Diagnostic Tool on eBay!

  8. #8
    and people really dont think that the south has the stuipest people on this plaent. man i cant wait to get the hell out of here!
    Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
    *93 Limited baby benzo <<SOLD>>
    *01 Chevy HD 2500 <<soon to be no more as well...>>

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